God’s Love.

You’re resilient, strong willed, and oh so lovable

but you made me feel like i wasn’t capable…

you weren’t able to love me the way I was with you…

no reciprocation

absolutely no patience.

you had no way of

giving Gods love.

you mistook love for being around.

for comfortability.

complacency.

but the resentment was too strong.

we had been at it for some time.

but i had to remind myself that…

love is patient

love is kind

love won’t get mad at you for not giving you all of your time.

love doesn’t envy or boast

it is not arrogant or rude

love doesn’t shut down and not communicate and then proceed to give attitude. it doesn’t ignore you and not care about what you have to say

it doesn’t insist on it’s own way.

it is not irritable or resentful.

it doesn’t rejoice at wrongdoings but rejoices in the truth

and i know i know… that’s something you already knew…

it was what you were consistently mad at me for,

it was something i’d always do.

you were valid to be mad.

but i knew it wasn’t true when you couldn’t appreciate the progress.

when you couldn’t see the difficulty in how much i was pushing to be better.

almost a year later and i’m still a little bitter.

i miss her.

but i don’t settle for what doesn’t want me.

i don’t continuously think on all that i did to ensure she was happy.

i focus on a love that’s meant to be.

that’ll show up.

randomly.

love me for me.

and let me know that

there’s never going to be a reason for me to worry.

a love where when i’m down for the count,

they’ll never give up on me…

a relationship that’ll be based upon trust, understanding, and hugs.

Gods love.