if I never see you again.

If i never see you again, know that I’m good.

well… on occasion.

you see, I try my best to be okay and accepting, of all that’s been lost with us.

It’s hard to know that with years of

communication, with years of even being friends

i’ll never see you again.

maybe i will someday

with you passing me by

as im trying to move on from everything in that exact moment,

to keep from crying.

to seem like i’m all put together.

i’m going to be honest, i wish we could’ve been together forever…

i wish we never came to an end

but if i never see you again

know that i enjoyed so much of our time together

you taught me so much and i only hope i did the same

so instead of placing blame and holding bitterness in my heart

i think back to the very start, remember how happy we were, remember your heart, and know everything’s going to be fine.

i’m glad that for a long period of time i had the opportunity of calling you mine.

I don’t want to ruin you in my mind with all you weren’t.

cause at the end of the day who’s really perfect?

but I can’t help but constantly think of what i knew you were…

You were beautiful… you were kind you were encouraging.

and most importantly you were mine...

you were all mine.

and no one else’s.

so having you in my life for so long and then all of a sudden you’re just gone?

it just feels so wrong.

it’s so hard to let you go

but i have to

i’ve realized that i can miss you

but that wanting you back is what i can’t do

It’s just so hard to not want you back when i think of all the good times.

maybe everything i’m going through is actually a sign

maybe the reason you stay stuck in my mind is because God needs to remind me of everything we were.

before we came to an end.

before i knew there would be a possibility that

i would never see you again.

so if i never see you again…

know that you’re incredible.

whether you already know that.

someone else is telling you that.

or you don’t care that i’m telling you that.

if i never see you again i want you to have the knowledge in your mind that you can do anything.

that you are an amazing human being.

Now…

I can sulk,

be bitter for all the wrong i’ve experienced

but that’s not how i want to live.

instead, i forgive.

and with forgiveness comes everything about you that i miss…

like who you are.

but i have to keep reminding myself that you’re gone and you probably will be forever.

so if i never see you again…

i hope that you’re good,

you’re strong, smart, and resilient.

i have no doubts that you’d be good.

i always knew you would.