what it feels like… pt II

It feels like I went on a walk but that the more I walked, the more I got lost.

Walking past the trees, stepping on leaves and the ground suddenly opens up from beneath me. 

now i’m stuck in this hole and it’s deep. It feels like it’s almost 20 feet. 

Unaware of how this became my life, but that’s just what it feels like. 

It feels like I was scratching and clawing, like I was tired and in mourning. Like I’ve been stuck in that hole for months. There being no want to keep going, I feel like i’m done.

but you keep going. You day by day fight to get out of this hole. With all your might you do your best to not make this your life. Despite nothing ever feeling right, you keep up the fight. At least that’s just what it feels like. 

It feels like you figured out a way to get out. like you finally figured out a way to not doubt. 

You climb and climb, you’re so close…almost done. you can almost see the sun. 

It feels like for so long I’ve been stuck in a hole with no hope. I’m finally at the top. Gripping the ledge. But you’re there and you cut the rope. You shove me and i’m falling. 

It feels like I hit the ground and that upon impact a part of me died. That it feels like no matter how much I try I’ll just never be able to rise. Like i’ll forever be on stand by. No matter my mood, my drive. happy and at peace just seem like something i’ll never be able to find. Consumed by consistent darkness, no matter what the day it’ll always feel like night. That’s what it feels like.